Post 2 - Love & Forgiving

.... continued from "Foreword"

Selfless Love
After many experiences and my reactions to certain situations, I find that I want pure, total love - which is impossible to find. I know that total love is impossible but still I need that. And if I ever find something resembling total love then I know that I will respond with that kind of love. Some may call it "chamchagiri" but that word is the one which is not included in my dictionary. When I will give someone my love, it will be in its total form - complete giving. I know that this is unacceptable to many as it seems like swooning over them. Yes, its nature is such but with a great difference. This love arises from - not for the remotest benefit of oneself - but for the opposite person's welfare. And this love means that if that person is helped by your withdrawal, then you must be able to withdraw in one mind and in love, sacrificing that person from your contact, deliberately giving a hateful picture of yourself so that your withdrawal does not hurt that person - although at a tremendous emotional and physical cost, which might even threaten to break you but will not because , remember, God is with you for you are performing a selfless act and even if this act is based on wrong presumptions it will be set right.

All the religious books preach that a selfless action is the greatest one and if one searches one's heart and does some completely selfless action then one comes to know the rising of the heart and the joy it produces. although your heart cries, you are still able to realize the good of the others. That is Love.

Man works for himself. If he loves, he loves for himself only - as a side effect caring for the other.. He loves or cares for the other only as the source which makes him love and gives him love [in return]. He tries to extract all enjoyment never really caring for his other [half]. When he is satisfied, he thinks the other is also (satisfied). Emotion, mind, soul etc. are meaningless to such persons. They are selfish persons although hypocrisy may force them to think  -as well as those around him - that he a ordinary, good, law-abiding, honest, peaceful and loving person.

True, total, pure love is never based on sex. True love can be found even between members of the same gender. Then it is called bosom friendship of the highest nature. When it is between the opposite genders then sex is just merely another vehicle of this eternal love. It is never the chief vehicle. When it is a source of enjoyment, it is degraded. When it is the expression of ultimate faith, loyalty and caring for one's partner, it is at its zenith of glory and purity. When it is degraded, it enslaves the person; when it is pure, it loses its entertainment value, loses much of its significance which has been given to it by man, but gains in glory and is the slave of the  person. When true love does not exist, sex is the chief vehicle of "love". But it is just another vehicle conveying love when love is total.

To me love means forgiving, love means disregarding of self, love is the synonym for worship.

All men who worship love in this way do not find such love. Why ? Because although they might know of the existence of such love but are not worthy of it ( like myself). This love can only be where and when the man has reached a height of greatness - practice of all virtues without the use of one;s will. Even then he might not find a reciprocating love.

If and when such great hearts meet - same gender or opposite - they blossom into love for all and everyone around feels its effect and the bliss of those persons. Lesser persons become jealous or even hate them for this worship-able bond. Even when love is not total, it may still be of a high nature. But then it does not blossom into others, it remains between them. The joy and its greatness is not felt by others. But even this love is hard to find in this world for [most] men are not worthy of this also. Here Forgiveness is also needed. although in a much narrower sense and man does not have even that.

Forgiving

Forgiving is the highest virtue that any man can attain. Forgiving is the father and the guardian of all other virtues. Forgiving is forgetting one's need for the sake of the other. Forgiving is the victory over self. It is not the suppression of self, it is the upliftment of the self. It is the highest throne which the self can attain - a throne when reached does not seem like a throne to the person attaining it.

The practice of forgiving is very unrewarding. People may call it cowardice or weakness. But the man who forgives, only knows the great love in his heart, the fulfillment, the peacefulness and the silent tears of joy and sadness. Again, it could be sometimes harmful to oneself. A man who can forgive in face of one's own disaster is the greatest. But if the other person is actually harmed by one's forgiveness, then he should show him the right way before forgiving. The objective is that the other should not come to harm in any manner.

Why is that all men are not forgiving even when some wish to be forgiving but cannot be when it is needed ?
There are two great hindrances.

..... To be continued in Post 3